What will happen to my body shape in 13 weeks? Let's find out starting Monday, June 13, 2011. Unlike most people, I'm not going to: go on a diet, proclaim I'm losing weight or buy a bunch of books and food I won't eat or read. I'm simply going to document four things. I'm going to meticulously chart what I eat, weigh and how I feel about myself. I'm also going to take portraits of myself. I'll take at least three nude photos of myself and post them on tumblr for the world to see. I don't like my body at all, and that could be part of the issue. Maybe actually looking at my body will spark me to actually make a change. Maybe I'll learn to love who I've become. Maybe I'll hate every second of the coming 13 weeks and no progress will happen at all.
I'll receive a lot of rude comments, I'm sure. That doesn't scare me at all. I'm not doing this for praise, recognition, acceptance or judgement. I'm doing this because I really want to do it.
I would like feedback. I would like suggestions on poses, places, type of settings for my images. You can't suggest articles of clothing, like fishnet stockings, because then I wouldn't be nude. ( I love technicalities )
I would not like suggestions on what to eat, how to workout, or what group to join.
This is my unguided journey. You are all along for the ride. I've chosen to do this for 13 weeks, then delete this account. I chose 13 weeks because 12 weeks seems to be the gold standard for weight loss events. This is NOT a weight loss stunt. This is simply my journey.
Welcome.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
My Belle. We are just beginning in these photos.
Captured and Compromised. This is why she loves me.
Love Letter from down under
My sub is too shy to tell me what she needs. So, I have her mail me anonymous letters. I allow her to write down her wishes and desires so she doesn’t have to tell me verbally. This sets her free and gives me the information that I need.
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Nov 27, 2011 (12:50pm)
I want to feel wanted. By feeling wanted, I feel safe in my own skin. I feel accepted and I don’t have to be ashamed of who or what I am. I feel safety and acceptance when I feel wanted.
I want to feel controlled and contained. Life is chaotic and so much energy is spent trying to figure out what others want and need. I find it comforting to know what is expected of me and that another is taking the responsibility and the time and effort to provide that control.
I want to feel used and to be useful. If I am being used to fulfill a want or need, even if it’s silly, then my apprehension falls away. I do not need to be embarrassed because it has been demanded of me. It is my duty to oblige which makes me feel used.
I want to feel bound both physically and emotionally to another. I wish to feel ignorant of loss: of control, discipline and relationship. For this reason I wish to feel bound. This provides a sense of acceptance to my position of servitude. Pride can dissipate. Embarrassment falls away. Control is released. I am forced to become raw.
I want to feel challenged. This helps me grow as a person. It also allows our relationship to grow. I want to feel challenged both mentally and physically.
I want to feel like there are no boundaries, taboo subjects or line to cross. I want to feel that my body is completely open to you; however you wish to use it. I want to feel that myself and my body both perform in a manner of servitude.
November 27, 2011 (18:18pm)
What’s life without good friends. Naked good friends.
I’m starting my body image adventure Monday, June 13, 2011. Until then, here is a picture of me fucking one of my best friends.